God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I deserve this hangover.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
