It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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