About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
