I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
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