I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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