I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
