we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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