Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
