Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Randomize
