We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
