White coat. Heels.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
