I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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