i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
