you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
