i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
then he tried to convert me to islam
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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