i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
