I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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