Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
