Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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