is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Randomize
