Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
