I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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