I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
