i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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