mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
