I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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