dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
