You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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