What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
