I take back everything I said about communal showers
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
