three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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