we have pet lesbian snakes
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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