he told me I talked like a deaf person
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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