Who wears a wallet chain?!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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