Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
