Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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