i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
he fucked my hip out of place.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
