This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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