just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Randomize
