The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
