sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
