no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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