Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
