we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
