i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
