I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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