I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
