I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
