whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
