I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
