No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
