Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She even gives head with a lisp.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
